A few weeks back, I was able to cross another item off my “Living in The South Bucket List”. Along with eating (and liking) grits, pimento cheese, and fried pickles, and attending (liking is not required) a NASCAR race, going to a bona-fide College Football Game was pretty high up there, so this was a biggie.
Some observations on College Football here in The South:
- I come from California, where we don’t give a Rat’s Ass about College Football, unless Cal is playing Stanford, or USC is playing UCLA. Nobody, graduate or not, flies a college flag from their front porch or the back of the pick-up truck on Saturdays, even when the aforementioned Big Game match-ups are imminent. Not so, down here. Any day of the year you can open up the Sports section of the AJC and find no fewer than three articles about UGA Football, maybe one or two about Georgia Tech and at least one about the SEC in general; and this includes months when school is not even in session. During the season, check the front page masthead for coverage.
- Why do the stadium music programmers at College Football games (or any sporting event, for that matter) think the only music white people like is Country-Western or AC/DC?
- Do they ever play music (above genres excepted) that doesn’t involve Auto-Tune vocals? I swear to God, if I hear “OMG” by Usher one more time, I’m going to open an artery. The only non-Country, non-AC/DC song that didn’t have the Auto-Tune was the Star Spangled Banner; and I might even be wrong there as we were late and missed the Anthem.
- Bud Light and Miller Lite, for $7 a pop as the only beer choices? Really?
- How hard is it to get face paint off? Are there thousands of kids attending classes on Monday morning in Athens with bright-pink skin after trying to scour off the red?
- And why is it that only white folks paint themselves for sporting events? Never mind. I know. We’re huge dorks. That, and the alcohol.
- Tailgating for six hours on a Thursday night? And how much tuition did your parents fork out so you could blow off class? Higher education, indeed.