"It's a long, long line…"

People who have been here before know that at Disneyland, there isn’t just one long line but actually three separate lines for each ride. There is the Preliminary Line (or the line that is waiting to be in the line that leads, finally, to the actual line). This first line is usually out in the blazing sun, indicated by only chains strung between silver posts. Then there is the “Line To Be In Line”. This one is closer, and can sometimes even be indoors. You begin to feel the blessed cool of the Air Conditioning, and you start seeing “Cast Members” in their ride-appropriate, if ill-fitting, costumes. In this line the posts are permanent and there are actual railings. You can sit on them until the staff tell you to get down; and you begin to see props and interesting stuff like cargo nets, fake animals, and the like.

Then, finally, there is The Line. You can now see people actually boarding and getting off the ride; and you are physically no further than about 40 feet away from them; but it’s 40 feet of switch-backs, stairs up and down, maybe a tunnel that leads you briefly away and out of sight of the loading area until, finally, you are lined up like racehorses at the little automated gates that will admit you to your long sought objective; and two minutes later you are done, ready for your next waiting experience.

Once in a while you may experience line jumpers. In terms of out-and-out despicable, these people rank with Child Molesters, Nazi War Criminals, and people who think throwing a towel over a chaise lounge at the pool reserves it for the entire day, whether they are there or not. No punishment is too great for these miscreants. They have no regard for their fellow man or the example they are setting for their own children who are line-jumping along with them.

There are a couple of different strategies employed by the Line Jumper. There’s the “we are looking for the rest of our group” line jumpers who walk past everyone to allegedly re-join someone who is ahead of you. There is the “Confused Foreigner” with that “I’m lost and don’t understand all this” look on their faces that they hope will elicit sympathy from us Yanks, and permission to just walk on by and go first. Then there is the out-and-out, blatant cheater who jumps turnstiles, cutting in front of 100 people to “join their group”.

On our trip we got to experience the joy of seeing one such group busted. The “’Guide” supervising the line allowed them to get all the way to the front, letting them think they were in the clear, then banished them to a well deserved round of applause. Away with you Evil-Doers! Be Gone! All the way to the back with you, I say! Out into the blazing sun, and stand ye with those who will not even be riding in the same calendar week as the rest of us, they are so far back.

Don’t mess with The Mouse. They’ll lead you away by the ear…


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